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Funny about memory. I remember those Star Wars phone messages from 27 years ago like it was yesterday. I can still hear them… but now that I’ve seen the transcriptions, I see that I didn’t exactly remember them faithfully. Here’s the original:

HAN SOLO: “Until I ran into Ben Kenobi and Luke Skywalker, I had myself a pretty good little operation. They wanted a ride to Alderaan and they were willing to pay enough so I didn’t have to ask any questions. Now I’m in the middle of a rebellion. I’m spending half my time dodging Imperial ships and the other half avoiding Her Holiness. Not only that, but Jabba the Hut has a price on my head and he’s put Boba Fett on my trail. Something tells me it’s not going to get any better when The Empire Strikes Back.”

Here’s how I actually remember it:

HAN SOLO: “When I ran into Luke Skywalker and Ben Kenobi, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Now I’m spending half my time dodging Imperial Ships and the other half avoiding or holding them. Something tells me it’s only going to get worse when the Empire Strikes Back.”

Sure, some of that is due to the erosion of memory over time. Some of it is due to the fact that I actually couldn’t hear it all that well: “avoiding or holding them” instead of “avoiding Her Holiness”.

The funny thing is that I can remember the ends of these very clearly. C-3PO would come on and say “The Empire Strikes Back comes to a theatre near you on May the Twenty-first, Nineteen Hundred and Eighty”. Then, an announcer would come on and say, “Call next month for a new message.”

And did I ever call. I called at night before going to bed. I called first thing when I got home after school. I called on the pay phone in the hall while switching classes. Most of the time, the lines were busy, but when they weren’t, I got a dose of Star Wars.

You have to remember, back in those days, we didn’t have VHS or DVD. There was no internet. If you liked a movie, you waited for it to come back around in the movie theatre or show up on TV. Or you watched something much less well done but still inspired by what you loved. Star Wars paved the way for both the original Battlestar Galactica and the revamped Buck Rogers. And we lined up for them, watched week after week, getting a pale substitute of what we actually wanted.

Or we called the fan line and listened to a thinly disguised marketing pitch delivered by some of our favorite characters.

Ah. Those were the days.

Waaaaayyyyy back, children, back before there were cel phones, ipods or web pages, there was an occasional viral marketing campaign. One I remember fondly was in the spring of 1980, as we all waited breathlessly for The Empire Strikes Back to finally come to the silver screen. It had been a long three year wait from Star Wars, and everything from fan magazines (my drug of choice was Starlog) to mainstream magazines to the morning TV talk shows were running little snippets of the movie, little sneak previews to further whet the appetite and drive us all a little nuttier running up to the release in May.

We geeks were starved for information, simply starved. Somebody at Lucasfilm took mercy on us and posted little 1 minute messages at a phone answering machine at an 800 number that fans could call in and listen. I have always looked back fondly on those phone messages, even though most of it 27 years later has slipped away. Thanks to an old issue of a Star Wars Fan Club newsletter I found online, I’m happy to be able to remember these:

HAN SOLO: “Until I ran into Ben Kenobi and Luke Skywalker, I had myself a pretty good little operation. They wanted a ride to Alderaan and they were willing to pay enough so I didn’t have to ask any questions. Now I’m in the middle of a rebellion. I’m spending half my time dodging Imperial ships and the other half avoiding Her Holiness. Not only that, but Jabba the Hut has a price on my head and he’s put Boba Fett on my trail. Something tells me it’s not going to get any better when The Empire Strikes Back.”

C-3PO: Hello, I am C-3P0, and this is the first of a series of messages on the special Star Wars telephone line. Each time one of you on Earth calls this number you will receive a message giving information on the continuation of the Star Wars saga, The Empire Strikes Back. After Star Wars, I hoped that all my adventures were over and R2-D2 wouldn’t get us into trouble with his secret missions, but in The Empire Strikes Back, it just gets worse. First, there was that dreadful snow planet – I thought I’d never be warm again. Then we were attacked by Imperial stormtroopers, and when we got to the Cloud City, I just went all to pieces. Oh, dear, talking about it is too upsetting. You’ll just have to see it for yourselves when The Empire Strikes Back comes to a theater near you on May 21, 1980.

VADER: They managed to rescue the Princess and to destroy the Death Star, but this time the Rebels won’t be so lucky. The power of the Death Star was insignificant compared to the power of the Force. And with Obi-Wan Kenobi gone, I am the master. See it, as The Empire Strikes Back.

LUKE: Tatooine was just a big ball of dust until Artoo and Threepio showed up. But since then my life hasn’t been the same from a moisture farmer on a remote desert planet to a leader of the Rebellion fighting for freedom throughout the galaxy. But now the Rebellion faces even greater odds, and I must be ready. I must follow Ben Kenobi’s teachings and learn more about the powers of the Force in becoming a Jedi Knight if I’m going to be prepared for a confrontation with Darth Vader. See it, when The Empire Strikes Back.

Do any of you remember these?