Archives: July 2007

Is there WI-FI here?

by Og
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Published on: July 31, 2007

In a quest to get this novel finished sometime before we all die, I have taken to bringing my laptop along places. Vacation. Sports practice. The Pool.

Invariably, strangers come up and ask me if there’s WI-FI in whatever location we find ourselves. I answer truthfully that I don’t know, because I’m not online. They invariably go away in a huff. I’m not sure if they think I’m lying, or what. Maybe the next thing they had planned to say is, “Can I use it to check MySpace?” but I don’t even have a wireless card in my laptop, so the point is moot.

I guess it’s hard for people to imagine just using the computer without it being hooked up to the internet for some sort of recreation, but that’s what I do. Seriously. I’m writing, not surfing the net, checking my email or watching Fox News online. As hard as it may be to believe in these over-entertained times, I’m working, not seeking entertainment.

WORD COUNT: 66,500

Cartoon ©2004 Rich Tennant, The Fifth Wave

Harry Potter and the Unsatisfactory Epilogue

by Og
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Published on: July 30, 2007

For those of you who have read the final installment of the Harry Potter series and found the epilogue a bit vague, author J. K. Rowling says mission accomplished. She wanted to leave it open, to leave it vague, for those who don’t want their books tied up in neat little bows. However, she granted an interview today to give the rest of the story for those who crave a bit more information. Though, as she admits, it will never be enough to satisfy the most ardent of her fans.

“I’m dealing with a level of obsession in some of my fans that will not rest until they know the middle names of Harry’s great-great-grandparents,” she says.

CAUTION: The article is spoiler-intensive, so those who haven’t read the final book yet… you’ve been warned.

Nose in the air like ya just don’t care

by Og
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Published on: July 30, 2007

I’ve had my first run-in with someone that, upon learning I’m writing a novel, took pains to inform me that she only reads non-fiction. Touché!

From what I hear from other authors, this will be a frequent event. So long as I’m writing fiction, there will be people who need to be sure I know they don’t read it. Because, you know, fiction is frivolous. Escapist. Worthless. And by extension, so must I be.

By contrast, the latest work of political hackery (The Many Virtues of The Man You Voted For) or religious claptrap (God Wants you to Hate Others) is a valuable addition to our culture, she might reason, and Makes the World a Better Place, though it’s stretching things to see much of that as non-fiction.

Oh well. Better lower that nose a bit, honey, before it rains. You might drown.

Tutankhamun

by Og
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Published on: July 30, 2007

Went to Philadelphia yesterday to see the Tutankhamun exhibit at the Franklin Institute. It’s there through September, and it’s the last stop in the US. If you get a chance, you really should get to see it before it leaves the country.

The artifacts are beautiful, and the pictures just don’t do it all justice. Those ancient artists put me to shame. We spent about an hour going through the different galleries, walking all around the artifacts for 360 degree views of most of them. Even the kids enjoyed it, and you never know what you’re going to get from historical exhibits with kids.

Of course, for a glimpse into my own maturity, consider this: while viewing the exhibit, this song from 1978 kept running through my mind…

When I was a young man, he never thought I’d see
People stand in line to see the boy king.

Now if I’d known they’d line up just to see him
I’d have taken all my money and bought me a museum.

He could have won a Grammy.
Buried in his jammies.
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia
King Tut

Afterward, we browsed through many of the other permanent galleries at the Franklin Institute. There’s Foucault’s Pendulum, which is always fun, and a lot of hands-on science stuff.

We also saw Mummies: Secrets of the Pharoahs in their IMAX theatre. The screen in this particular IMAX is hemispherical and wraps up around you. Pretty hip. The movie was pretty good, although the five-minute Philadelphia promo spot before hand was also very impressive. Sorta makes you want to move there.

I guess we here in Baltimore can count ourselves lucky. We’re a short drive from some of this country’s great cities: Washington DC, Philadelphia, Richmond and New York. You want culture and history*, great to have these towns in our own back yard.

*Yes, I realize that “culture and history” in reference to the US has my European brethren giggling dirisively. Shut it.

Say goodbye to the Comfy Chair

by Og
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Published on: July 25, 2007

In today’s Baltimore Sun, there’s an article on how some of the Mega Bookstores are removing their “soft seating”. You know, the Comfy Chair.

Seems the initial thought, to turn the Super Bookstore into a sort of community gathering place with a bunch of books in it, with comfortable seating that encourages browsing (what we scientists call a “library”) might not have been so well thought-through. It has encouraged people to browse instead of buy, and has provided a refuge for homeless people. Some people, in addition, seem to be leaving trash around the seats, spilling their coffee on them, and, uh, leaving behind some sort of unsavory problems related to personal hygeine.

Of course, it also appears to take space away from actual product. I know I should support my local Tiny Bookstore, but I do love getting a coffee and browsing through the books in a comfy chair. But I can see the logic of removing those chairs. by replacing the comfortable seating with bookshelves, the Superstores could have room for more Harry Potter novels. Or the latest book from Crichton, King, or Grisham.

Or… mine?

Thirty

by Og
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Published on: July 25, 2007

I believe David Gerrold once said that in the Publishing world, “thirty” means “finished”. I haven’t been able to get confirmation on that quote, but I distinctly remember reading it 20 or 30 years ago in his column “Rumblings”.

But regardless whether it’s true, Thirty means “finished” for me, at least for now. Yesterday I finished my Second Draft of the first thirty pages of my novel. Several literate friends and would-be writers are even now leafing through the pages and either marveling at my sheer brilliance, or, more likely, yawning and thinking of nice ways to say “don’t quit your day job”.

Meanwhile, it’s back to the drawing board for me. No, literally. I’ll be drawing a few pictures for the pitch, that’s how I’ll spend the next few days while waiting for feedback from my Beta Testers.

WORD COUNT: 66,000

Hard-to-Imagine Financial Matters

by Og
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Published on: July 24, 2007

Interesting fact: you can be 1/53,000 as rich as Bill Gates and still be a millionaire.

Source: Generation Risk

13/15

by Og
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Published on: July 23, 2007

Or 26/30. Or 86%. Anyway, last night, I finished page 26 of the initial 30 in my Second Draft project. Feels like progress.

I can really see the benefit of letting time pass between First Draft and Second. As they say, you sort of forget a lot of what you write, so it’s like editing someone else’s piece. So it’s a lot easier to make changes, rip stuff out, and generally improve once you’re not so close to it and all emotionally involved.

Some of it I do remember writing, and fondly so. There are entire paragraphs that I can remember writing, and thinking that they would probably survive any future draft. Pure Gold!

Well… they weren’t. They get changed, edited, or removed like all the others.

Only 4 pages left to go…

Chalk Homer at Cerne Abbas

by Og
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Published on: July 21, 2007

Wonderful what you can do with chalk these days.

The other day I mentioned the clever marketers for the Simpsons movie. As my friend Mike points out, these folks really oughtta get bonuses. Or at least that’s what part of me thinks. The other part of me shudders, understanding that one day some Marketing department will succeed in laser projecting a logo on the moon. Lookit what they’ve done to Cerne Abbas.

Details at this article. (Thanks, Mike.) That’s GENIUS. Either that, or horrifying.

I was surprised to hear the pagans were so outraged over this. I’m showing my ignorance here, certainly, but I was unaware pagans were numerous enough to register an outcry. And now I know.

Save Us from The Art Police

by Og
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Published on: July 20, 2007

In Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, he tells a story that resonates with me quite a bit. It’s a story about a little 8-page “book” he made on his home printing press as a boy, his print adaptation of the film version of “The Pit and the Pendulum” which he’d just seen at the movies. He took it in to school and sold copies of it to his friends.

Alas, when his teacher discovered the book, King was summoned to the Principal’s office. Oddly, it wasn’t the copyright law violation or the issue of plagiarism his teacher and principal objected to. They just didn’t like the idea of him turning the school into a marketplace, especially not, his teacher added, to sell such trash as “The Pit and the Pendulum”.

“What I don’t understand, Stevie,” she said, “is why you’d write junk like this in the first place. You’re talented. Why do you want to waste your abilities?”

She had rolled up a copy of my book and was brandishing it at me the way a person might brandish a rolled up newspaper at a dog that had piddled on the rug.

She waited for me to answer – to her credit, the question was not entirely rhetorical – but I had no answer to give. I was ashamed. I have spent a good many years since, too many I think, being ashamed about what I write.

I know how he felt. When I was at camp, we used to have Saturday Night Campfire, where the kids would get together and do little skits in front of the rest of the camp. Some of the skits were old standards, reproduced week after week, year after year. Some people would just get up there and improvise. I used to write my own skits.

One in particular, based on the Mad magazine cartoons I loved at the time, was a series on “How People are Stupid”. Basically, my friends and I would come out, set up a situation, and then have something horrible happen, stemming from our character’s stupidity.

For instance, one skit involved somebody cleaning his gun in a stupidly careless fashion (we used a toy gun in the skit) and shooting himself in the head. Personally, I thought this was funny, as well as educational. We had riflery lessons at the camp, and one of the things we were taught many times is to make sure the gun was unloaded, including the chamber, before doing anything like cleaning it, looking down the barrel, what have you.

In one skit I was playing a stupid guy hauling water to the garden using a bucket with a hole in it, thus getting to the garden with an empty bucket and having to start again. The character was getting more and more upset, and I believe the ultimate destination of this finely-developed narrative was a hilarious fatal heart attack. However, before it could go that far, a counsellor stood up and stopped the skit.

“I think we’ve all seen enough,” she said. “This isn’t appropriate. Why don’t you do skits about how smart people are?”

I didn’t answer. I took my bucket with the hole in it, and sat down with the rest of the campers in embarrassed silence while we went on to sing some camp song or other. Maybe it was a hymn.

In retrospect, the answer is, “Because doing a skit about how smart people are isn’t funny.” Stupid can be funny, or tragic, or can provide the groundwork for a cautionary tale. Smart and wholesome and heroic is all fine and dandy, but not very interesting. It’s certainly not the stuff of Saturday Night Campfire Skits. But maybe that’s just me.

Someone even came on this blog one time giving me crap about a story I wrote and posted, which had a very violent ending. More on this in a future post. I got a very nasty note from this random person who posted the comments anonymously, claiming that based on the story, I was unstable enough that they were scared to even post their name. I felt bad about the reaction this person had, and took the story down. I wish I hadn’t.

Everyone has an opinion, and people are certainly entitled to air theirs. But it’s funny how many people want to tear your work down, or even tear you down. My advice to you aspiring artists and writers out there is just be brave. Do what you do and ignore the self-appointed Art Police. They’re always looking for something to complain about, and if they’re talking about your stuff, it was just your turn this time. They’ll forget you soon and move onto someone else.

I think King is right about this. His final words on the subject sum up my feelings perfectly:

I think I was 40 before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write, or paint, or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose, someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all.

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